STARVING ARTIST DO WHAT YOU LOVE

DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND MAKE A LIVING AT IT
ps i know the punctuation is fucked on this one, but this one is a sad sack piece.

      So they say do what you love, and you will never work a day in your life. They say find your passion, and then make a living doing it. That is the biggest load of horseshit I have ever ran across. I love to write, I love to make youtube vids on my channels, Leeland Bullock, and Huxlee29.

     Though, one little thing, I CANNOT MAKE A FUCKING LIVING AT IT. No I have to do a job, the daily grind like everyone else, and dream. That is all I really fucking have. I have tried to use my artistic side to do for my family and all these months in. Nothing to show for it.

     I can not even get a bank to give me a small loan to start my online business for video games, All because, one credit card, Ok I got late and then behind, then further behind, but one day a few years ago, I paid it all in full. It was charged off, but paid in full no settling because, in end a settle is just to make them leave you alone.

     So I, as many other are, am stuck inside my own head. Knowing that I will teeth pull, struggle, trod, and trudge. Through the pit of shit, to scrape what I can to do less than what is required. I will suffer eternally, just so I can endure one more week, of paycheck to paycheck.

     I feel a jealousy for others who are gifted wealth overnight. That all financial issues in a snap go away. That now their family, children, spouse. Will no longer have to struggle. That they can spend all manner of time with their family. Go on vacations, get the kids what they need, and want when required without wondering if there is enough cash in the bank to even get gas to go to work.

     I have some 30 videos on youtube, monetized to try and make some revenue from my time put into them. I have an A-store from amazon to try and make sales, but never have made a single one. I have this blog with ads just in case someone sees something they like. Trying to use what i know best to try and provide some extra income into my house without sacrificing time with my family to do so. 

So sorry but I have to say that following your passion or your dream, and make it work for you only works, if your passion or dream is. Being a scientist, engineer, investment banker, stock broker, doctor, lawyer, or any profession that can make big dollar bills.

But if you want to be a painter, poet, writer, craft maker, musician, your chances are slim. Slimmer still if your a dime a dozen. Even worse, when your talent gets seen some 10 years later scribbled on a bathroom stall because that was the day you gave up and let your heart die. 

In end, just grow up, do the grind, struggle paycheck to paycheck, then die, or  Go to college, find that dream in a million dollar job and do what you love because what you love actually pays.

This is Huxlee29, saying GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Personal Theory of Evolution

MY PERSONAL THEORY

     Some are catching up to my thoughts given to this some time ago. I am by no means super educated, and by no means willing to debate this with someone who can trip me up with their greater intellect. This is a theory. If you don't like it, tell me, cause I don't care, but I will have a friendly discussion with you on the topic at hand.

    Hell i am trying to write a book about this as a fictitious novel. That will be a enjoyable read for those that do not think everything is the devil. So once I eBook it ill let you all know. 

So here goes a theory that I came up with. Then then a smart alien nut thought of it an actually wrote it. 

     WE DIDN'T EVOLVE. not like we were supposed to. It was a divine intervention that made us after the dinosaurs. But not the god divine, but the alien divine. If you were to go back to the start of man and really look at the situation. Would we not see aliens as the gods we worshiped in the past. Their technology so advanced that as to us would appear to be magic powers, and divine abilities. I am sure their medical technology would be so advance it would look like magic when healing someone almost instantly with a hand held device. 

     Many people who claim abductions, and well documented cases in Alaska along with a movie made of it. The abductees spoke the ancient sand script language of Sumerian. That language has not been spoken in well a long long time. I would have to look it up to be specific I will leave that research to you. If you take interest in this theory. 

     In what we have learned from finding artifacts the Sumerians speak of a race of beings or god that came to earth and made them. used them for labor to mine resources. Because they didn't want to do the work themselves. So they used their genetics mixed it with homo-erects genes and made humans as we know them today. They needed workers both smart, and strong to do the work. 

     We were also supposed to be destroyed after the finished their endeavor here. They saw that we were sentient that we had potential and they decided to let us live, and help us learn and survive the world and be the dominate species here. We were noting more than a lab experiment, a means to and end for them. In the time though they grew to love us, showing us mercy, and letting us all live.

     Their is hieroglyphic showings of beings from the heavens from across the globe. Think about it really think about it. How are there pyramids on pretty much every continent in the world. Each on depicting gods or a god from a star ship ball of light, in a alien looking way in every hieroglyph in different cultures and languages. That is too much just to be coincidence.

     You may say then, why are they not still hear helping us still learn and get threw together helping us. Think of it as stages of a child's life.

A baby doesn't know fear. Fear doesn't come until the child is more aware. Usually around the ages of 4-5 years old. That is when the child learns fear. To scream, to run, to hit and show violence. 

So they taught us up to that point, Then something happened to cause us to become fearful maybe a event. The event I learned about is yet another alien race attacking us. The race that made us got violent and fought off the intruders. Their are tales of this war and the devices used in it.

When we saw our creators in this light we were not fearful of them, as well as the invaders coming to attack us. Maybe the invaders thought we were abominations that didn't need to be loved. 

This follows closely to the rise against god by Lucifer and the good angles. A war was fraught over humanity and the invaders or the army of Lucifer was cast out. 

     Maybe GOD and his good angels were the aliens who made us. That showed us love, that let us live out of mercy and the trials we went threw. 

And SATAN and his fallen angels were the ones who thought we didn't deserve to be loved by them. that we were experiments that needed to be terminated after our use. 

Maybe the saying Heaven on earth is as close to home as it sounds. That the war was fought in heaven, our Eden, or Eden meaning EARTH. 

     Maybe the snake in the garden giving us knowledge was not so much that. Than us becoming aware of violence, anger, hate, and evil after the war came. We learned of treachery and war, and murder. So even if the war to protect us from them was won, we became aware of to much too soon. We became lost with fear being instilled into us.

     Then came the burning bush, and the other stories, after this. Maybe that is after they had to leave us, and them trying to still watch over us and give us help without us becoming fearful again.

     Now here we are still scared children. Trying to learn our way to our future. And stories of them still coming. Good stories, and the bad. Because even the invaders that were cast out. Still come to cause the harm too us.

     Though, the good stories talk of how the one we do communicate with are very spiritual. They have a type of religious belief. Maybe that is because, they themselves were created buy another race. That or a god of some type actually exists. That is where we get our beliefs. 

This is all just a matter of personal opinion but worth doing the homework on. So check it out it doesn't hurt to educate yourself. I am not here to change how you believe.